Sorry, I don't speak sober.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
