True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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