he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
