**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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