Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Randomize
