if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
