I wanna bring you to show and tell
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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