I don't think brook has ever known best
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
