He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We need to feng shui this bitch.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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