I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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