I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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