The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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