Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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