3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
