Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
