Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I wanna bring you to show and tell
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
