There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize