Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
nutella sex= disaster
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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