never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
