can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
