I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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