If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
