Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
she peed on how many people?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
