He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
