i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
