you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
