Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
