Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
