so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
why do cheetos always look like penises
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
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We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
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what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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