drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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