My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
