youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
