I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
