She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I didn't notice because vodka
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
