Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
