Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
