I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
