would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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