another moral hangover. fuck.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
