if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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