Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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