Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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