is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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