You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
i out mim tonsoeep
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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