wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
