Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
i need some magic done to my vagina
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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