He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
