my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize