who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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