He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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