just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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