I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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