it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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