scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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