Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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