her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
