It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
