I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
