Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
